and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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