I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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