Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
