i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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