im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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