he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
