none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
