Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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