Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
