Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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