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You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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