i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
