isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
