i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
