Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
