Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
