"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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