Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
