I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
