something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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