your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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