Pappa wants mamma naked
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
