i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
