My room smells like vodka and shame
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
