the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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