meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize