He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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