I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
