So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
