This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize