Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
