i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
