I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
