he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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