she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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