Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I need water and some morals
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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