I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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