I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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