I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
