Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
