and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
