I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
