I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize