i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
