Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
