Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
