turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
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it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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