His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
