Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
