We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
