I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
