at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
