if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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