yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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