Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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