When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
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I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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