There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
